From my good friend at work, Reva Bad Wound:
Okay,eat, drink, & be merry!!! Forget the diets and enjoy.
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
>
> 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a
> holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.
> In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.
> Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
>
> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly.
> It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year
> but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calorie
> in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
> into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat.
> Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than
> you think. It's Christmas!
>
> 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the
> whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it
> on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with
> gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
>
> 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made
> with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why
> bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
> transmission.
>
> 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
> to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
> Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free.
> Lots of it. Hello?
>
> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
> and New Year's. You can do that in January when you
> have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps,
> which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
> carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
>
> 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
> table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
> of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge.
> Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
> attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If
> you leave them behind, you're never going to see them
> again.
>
> 8. Same for pies. Apple,Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of
> each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples
> and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get
> to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
>
> 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded
> with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
> cost. I mean, have some standards.
>
> 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you
> leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't
> been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry,
> January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to
> live by:
>
> "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
> intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
> preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate
> in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
> screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
>
> Have a great holiday season.....
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